he was, he is
by moonxdawson
Summary: Sometimes you have to learn the hard way to appreciate what you have. Because sometimes; you'll hit rock bottom and have it all taken away from you in the blink of an eye, and it'll make you realize you already had everything you could ever want and didn't need anything more. / / Auslly oneshot.


**A/N Yay oneshot time! This oneshot is a dramatic/emotional oneshot that I've wanted to write. I'm trying to test my limits with stuff other than fluff, which I tend to usually write but this one is definitely dramatic and emotional and I guess angsty?**

**So this oneshot is inspired by so many different songs it's not even funny okay? The main ones though that you'll hopefully catch references to though are; Your Side of the Bed by Little Big Town, Need You Now by Lady Antebellum, Don't Let Me Be Lonely by The Band Perry and Holding Out For A Hero by Ella Mae Bowen**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin & Ally, any of these songs, or anything else you might recognize. **

* * *

She lies down in their bed. _Their bed_. It hasn't felt like their bed in months. It feels more like hers than theirs.

Looking over to his side she sees their wedding picture on the bedside table. Smiling faces. That beautiful white dress.

Every recent picture their smiles are fake. She refuses to wear white to any event they go to. She only wants to associate white with that day, that way when she thinks of a white dress it's only happy thoughts.

Spotting the clock beside the wedding picture, she wished it wasn't broken. She wished she knew what time it was so she could know how late he had been out.

There's a bible that lies on the table too. She rolls her eyes, as she knows he hasn't opened it in years. He's too caught up in his own world.

The moon creeps in through the window, as she's looking at his bedside table. Reaching her hand out she rubs the empty spot absentmindedly as she stares at the ceiling.

Closing her eyes, she prays for him. She prays for herself. And she just prays they'll be okay.

* * *

He lifts his head out of his hands as he hears the sound of another glass being set down in front of him. He hears the bar tender tell him he's cutting him off.

The music in the club is blasting, bright lights flashing everywhere but he's sitting here; drinking the night away. His eyes keep drifting to the door, hoping she turn up like she used to every time he'd get a little crazy one night.

But she doesn't. And she won't.

He thinks she'll still do anything for him. That she's still wrapped tightly around his finger. She's not.

He's aware he's losing himself. He doesn't quite know himself who he is anymore. It's like he's a totally different person.

The moment he turned twenty-one was when the change started. He was legally allowed to do anything he wanted pretty much. He could drink, smoke, anything.

He was famous. Anybody would give him anything he asked for. He could get it all. Alcohol, drugs, girls, anything.

The one thing he doesn't get into is the girls. He has a loving wife at home, whom he honestly does love dearly. He just doesn't quite remember how to show that he loves her recently.

There's this voice in the back of his head. It's constantly telling him _'Something's about to happen. You're going to lose it all.'_ but he ignores the voice. And continues on drinking and partying as they celebrate the success of whatever his new single was called.

* * *

He _had_ messed up. He _was_ messed up. He _knew_ this.

He hadn't tried to fix everything. It was unfixable.

Even if he did make an effort to change, nothing would happen. It would never go back to the way it was. It would never be normal.

There were constantly magazines with his name in the headline.

_Austin Moon's newest album doesn't even reach top ten._

_Has Moon become a fame whore?_

_What ever did happen between Austin Moon and Ally Dawson? _

He didn't even know himself what had happened in the latter headline.

All he remembers is one night he sees her packing a suitcase tears streaming down her face and when morning came he was waking up to an empty bed, two rings, and a note on his bedside table. And the glass in their wedding picture was smashed.

The house was cold without her there. It was too big for one person.

He didn't have contact with any of his old friends anymore. Not Trish. Not Dez. And most definitely not Ally.

He missed her. He honestly did.

But there was nothing he could do. Absolutely nothing.

* * *

She hears a magazine get tossed onto the coffee table in front of her, but she makes no move to look at her. She simply looks at the person who threw it and rolls her eyes.

She knew what it was about. It was about him, of course.

_Him._

Even the mere thought of him made her heartache. But she's the one who left. So her own heart ache is partly her fault. Though she won't admit to that.

He's the one who had hurt her. It's all his fault in her eyes.

"'_Austin Moon caught drunk coming out of club. What ever happened to this rock star?' _Ally… he needs our help." She hears Trish say.

"He can rot in hell for all I care." She mutters back curling into the corner of the couch.

Sighing Trish moves to sit beside her on the couch of her apartment. She rubs her best friend's back while she says, "Ally…"

"Trish, _that_ is not Austin. The Austin Moon that I loved is gone. Whoever _this_ Austin is _does not_ need my help."

And just like that she's running into the bathroom, tears streaming down her face. She slams the door shut, and leans her back against it and falls to the floor.

She puts her face in her hands and just cries. And cries. And cries.

She cries for herself, because her heart's completely broken. She cries for Trish and Dez, because they also lost a best friend. And she cries for him, because it's all his fault and she hopes he knows it.

And for the first time in what feels like forever, she closes her eyes and prays. She prays maybe one day her heart will feel whole again. And she prays he'll finally figure everything out, and maybe possibly come knocking on her door saying 'Sorry.'

But until that day comes she'll just sit here crying her eyes out and praying.

* * *

He wakes up to a banging on his door. Before he's even at the door it's swinging open.

The sight before him shocks him. Honestly he didn't expect Trish and Dez to show up at this doorstep.

It's been a month since Ally left. She still hasn't sent divorce papers, so at least he knows there's still hope. Seeing Trish and Dez gives him more hope.

"How is she?" are the first words out of his mouth.

They both open and close their mouths for a minute, not quite knowing what to say. Honestly they hadn't expected that. Before Trish finally answered.

"Austin she's…. well she's not the best. She needs you right now." Trish tells him honestly. She hopes she wasn't too obvious about why Ally needed him. "But Ally's not why we're here Austin we just want to hel-"

"I know I messed up okay?" he shouts interrupting her. "I messed up the second I made Ally stop being my songwriter awhile back."

He can tell by their reactions they didn't expect that. They weren't thinking he'd cave that easily. Admit he was wrong. He knew he had messed up.

"Why?"

"The fame, it went to my head. They gave me anything and everything I wanted!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. "But then I told Ally to stop being my songwriter. Focus on her career which she was slowly ending, and focus on being able to be my wife. Not just my partner in music but my partner in life.

"She got pissed but agreed, and that's when we started fighting." He confesses his voice getting shakier by the second. "I accidentally let it slip in one of the fights the record company made me drop Ally as my songwriter… She walked out a week later.

"I kid you not the day after she walked out I get the news that my new album didn't reach the top ten. And that's about the time I hit rock bottom. Everything dropped me. I didn't get everything I wanted anymore so I had stopped going to clubs, stopped everything. I was brought back to the reality that I own all my fame to Ally." He runs his fingers through his hair pulling at it in frustration as the memories come back.

Images of Ally with tears streaming down her face the night she left flash through his mind. The picture of their wedding day being throw at the wall as she curses at him. Her rings being thrown at his chest. The images all flash through his mind.

She told him he didn't deserve her that night. And he didn't.

So many hurtful things were said by her that night, and he just let her yell them at him. Everything she said was right. He was a dick. He was an idiot. He was selfish. He was obnoxious. He was ungrateful.

He _was_ all of it.

"She needs you." He hears Dez say, and his eyes snap over to him. "We… We wanted to make sure you were okay before we let her back over here. Please just don't do anything to her; she doesn't need anything to happen okay?

"Okay." He whispers and just like that they're out the door as quickly as they came through it.

* * *

The moment she walks through the door he realizes exactly why they said she needed _his_ help. He gives her a small smile, and she just shakes her head walking past him. But she makes sure to brush his arm as she goes to sit on the couch.

Sparks. They're still there.

"I've missed you." He tells her honestly, while turning around to face her.

Her face is blank as she looks into his eyes. He thinks he sees a small emotion flash through her eyes, but it left as quickly as it had appeared.

He awkwardly sits down in front of her on his _–their-_ coffee table and just looks at her. She looks completely off in her own world as the blank face stares back at his own. She's not herself right now, and he can immediately tell.

"Are you okay?" he asks timidly and reaches out to place a hand on her knee. The moment his hand comes in contact with her knee, he sees her eyes go wide like a deer in headlights, and her breathing sped up. "Ally are you about to have a panic attack? You know I can't handle it when you have those…"

"I'm okay, I'm okay." She tells him, waving him off with her hand. "What you told Trish and Dez… was it true?"

This time when he looks at her face he sees the emotions she was trying to hide. Her eyes always could tell him how she was feeling. And right now she's feeling; vulnerable, unsure, and sad.

Her hand keeps subconsciously going to her stomach, and he knows what he's about to say _will_ decide his fate. _Their fate. _

"It's all true. I'm so sorry Ally." He says his voice wavering.

"What happened to us?" she asks looking down at her left hand, her breath hitching as she sees the tan line _still_ there from where her rings used to be. "We got so distant. You wouldn't even look at me when you would lie down. That hurt so much more than it should have Austin."

Fame happened.

That's what he wants to say. But something stops him. Because he knows that's not the full reason. But he's not even sure himself what the reason or reasons were.

It was like once they took the music out of their relationship, they didn't fit anymore. They just are not the same without music flowing through their relationship. But that's not what went wrong.

"I'm not quite sure… Maybe it was because we rushed into marriage after high school?" he questioned.

And it was true they did rush into their marriage. They had been dating for two years prior, but now that they look at it getting married before they were even nineteen might not have the best thing they've ever done.

"I don't know what went wrong Ally. But all I know is, I keep thinking of making love to you," he pauses and tries not to laugh as he sees her look down at her stomach. "Every time I'm in our bed. And your side of the bed just looks so empty now. It just everything reminds me of you in this stupid house. And I just miss you and love you. And need you."

"I feel the same way." She tells him honestly, "So can we work this out? Please. I need my hero back. _We_ need our hero back."

He nods his head and for the first time in what feels like forever, stands up and wraps his arms around her and just holds her. And as he feels the tears slowly soaking his shirt, he ignores them because he knows he's the reason she's broken. But he's also the only person who can fix her.

* * *

_**Fin.**_

* * *

**Reviews are sorta cool.**


End file.
